Cottage (2008)

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AKA:
Directed by: Paul Andrew Williams
Starring: Andy Serkis (David), Reece Shearsmith (Peter), Jennifer Ellison (Tracey), Steve O’Donnell (Andrew), David Legeno (The Farmer), Doug Bradley (Villager), Steven Berkoff (Arnie)
Country: UK; Effed Up British-Irish Movies
Language: English (Optional Eng Subs)
Runtime: 01:31:28
Genres: Serial Killer, Kidnapping, Gore-Gruesome

Plot – Spoilers:
A couple of men pull up at a cottage in the English countryside. They’ve got an unconscious girl in the boot of their car who’s positioned to show off her busty chest and looks a cross between Emma Bunton and Britney Spears. One of the men is a relatively timid family man dominated by the other and their tolerance of each other finally makes sense when it turns out they’re brothers. The kidnap plan is ransom but it soon goes to shit because everyone involved in the get-rich scheme are trash. The failed plan ceases to be their main worry though when their neighbor turns out to be some kind of an Ed Gein farmer.

Includes a post-credits scene.

4.5 13 votes
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Old Mother Hubbard
Old Mother Hubbard
March 3, 2026 3:53 am

This one is great. 4 stars. Post credit scene leaves door open for a sequel.

STEBEE
STEBEE
January 19, 2026 10:38 pm

Enjoyed it

Paradise_Girl
Paradise_Girl
April 22, 2025 7:21 am

First half of this movie is boring and corny

xXJuicyKumFartz69Xx
xXJuicyKumFartz69Xx
March 13, 2025 9:12 pm

Haven’t watched yet but looks cheesy as fuck so far.. you could say.. Cottage Cheese LOL.. 😀 im a funny man n you fuckin know it!!!11!

jcd
jcd
February 9, 2025 7:35 pm

kinda like shaun of the dead with [spoiler] instead of zombies. the 1st half was dull and boring and thought about stop watching. it was an okay movie.

STYL0
STYL0
February 6, 2025 10:09 pm

movies like this are why i love this site.satisfying gore,actually funny and proper good acting.great comedy horror have never heard of it so deffo underrated

Psyllium
Psyllium
January 1, 2025 5:32 pm

Gollum, the bloke off of inside number 9, and that bird off of Brookside. Good film, starts a bit shit. Stick with it.

“Includes a post-credits scene”

Thanks.

A freaking snowflake
A freaking snowflake
December 25, 2024 12:55 am

Pretty funny. Only a bit lame.

cunt
cunt
December 23, 2024 7:06 pm

absolute garbage, crappy overacting ,unfunny comedy,like a cheap Guy Ritchie knock off.

JackStack
JackStack
December 22, 2024 10:31 pm

Has only so much space to write a movie plot summary must sperg about the woman’s titt size and her looks. You bunch of subhumans will always be worthless niggers of gender. Good thing you’re roping in masses before 30.

fred fat
fred fat
December 22, 2024 8:00 pm

u cant beat a bit of cottaging

NSDAPwasChristian
NSDAPwasChristian
December 20, 2024 5:19 pm

“They [the foreign press] say of us that we are an anti-Christian movement. They even say that I am an outspoken Pagan…I solemnly declare here, before the German public, that I stand on the basis of Christianity, but I declare just as solemnly that I will put down every attempt to introduce confessional matters into our Hitler Youth.”

— Baldur Von Schirach, head of the Hitler Youth