Dogs Don’t Wear Pants (2019)

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Avg Rating: 4.2 / 5. Voted: 61

No one cared thus far. Do you?


AKA: Koirat Eivät Käytä Housuja
Directed by: J.-P. Valkeapää
Starring: Pekka Strang (Juha), Krista Kosonen (Mona), Ilona Huhta (Elli), Oona Airola (Satu), Jani Volanen (Colleague), Ester Geislerova (Wife)
Country: Finland; Effed Up European Movies
Language: Finnish (Eng Subs); Effed Up Scandinavian Cinema
Runtime: 01:44:32
Genres: BDSM, Sexual-Violence against Men

Plot – Spoilers:
A Finnish cardiac surgeon loses his wife to a drowning accident when she gets entangled in a stray net. He tries to save her but almost drowns himself and has a near-death-experience. Years later, his daughter is a teenager, but he is still numb from the shock and robotically slices his way through his job and life.

Initially, he fills the void of his dead wife’s memories by using her perfume and clothes while masturbating. But then a chance encounter with a domina at a fetish club offers the possibility of salvation. When she asphyxiates him, the moments surrounding his NDE return, momentarily reuniting him with his wife. This now becomes a regular obsession, as he craves going harder to prolong the experience.

If that isn’t interesting enough, Dogs Don’t Wear Pants also features one of the most beautifully memorable cinematic moments set to music, right at the end.

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Bukowski
Bukowski
June 16, 2023 10:39 am

Reminds me of Secretary with the genders reversed. Dominatrix was hot af

mile
mile
May 21, 2023 2:30 pm

mona is god

Ed
Ed
May 16, 2023 12:19 pm

They don’t? Cool makes em easier to fuck

Kakitza
Kakitza
Reply to  Ed
May 17, 2023 9:10 pm

They don’t? Cool, You’re a fucking gay cry baby coward. Watch. This faggot is going to prove I’m right.

GT
GT
May 7, 2023 1:25 pm

They are all great actors and I love this film.

Greylike
Greylike
April 29, 2023 3:09 pm

Is there any sequel or prequel to this movie,

Cole
Cole
Reply to  Greylike
April 30, 2023 10:38 am

Yes there is! Every other day and twice on Sunday.

Kikitza
Kikitza
April 28, 2023 12:41 pm

She acted extreamely unprofessional after ditching him like that to experience a sub-drop, and not even discussing a safe-word. Worst dominatrix ever

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  Kikitza
April 28, 2023 8:41 pm

spell correct you cunt

PuppyPhoenix
PuppyPhoenix
Reply to  Kikitza
July 17, 2023 7:55 pm

That’s a misconception. Not everyone needs/wants a safe word specially if that person doesn’t require one or doesn’t ask for one you can’t possibly be a real masochist if you arent purposely doing for subdrop in the first place. I never use safewords and get insulted if someone asks it’s a waste of an experience if I’m just going to prevent someone from taking it too far. It’s suppose to hurt and I want to be broken of course I’m going to beg and cry and scream let me that’s the point

???????
???????
April 26, 2023 5:17 am

yet another finnish movie about autoerotic asphyxiation

RudiderBuddler
RudiderBuddler
April 25, 2023 2:19 pm

I was depressed my whole life. But then i’ve discovered necrophilia. Now i’m happy. Necrophilia can save your life!

Cole
Cole
Reply to  RudiderBuddler
April 25, 2023 4:28 pm

If being a fucking asshole could save your life you’ll live forever.

Steve
Steve
Reply to  Cole
April 26, 2023 9:05 am

Stfu you coward cry baby faggot

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  RudiderBuddler
April 25, 2023 5:02 pm

isnt that dead boring

Foo
Foo
April 24, 2023 6:36 am

Ha ha… loved it.

fred fat
fred fat
April 23, 2023 1:23 pm

i thought this would never finish

fred fat
fred fat
April 23, 2023 1:07 pm

i like the sequel – i never wear pants

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  fred fat
April 23, 2023 1:22 pm

fuck off fred

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  fred fat
April 23, 2023 1:45 pm

fuck off cunt

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  fred fat
April 23, 2023 3:34 pm

fuck off cuntfucker

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  fred fat
April 23, 2023 4:43 pm

fuck off cuntfucking cunt

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  fred fat
April 28, 2023 8:40 pm

fuck off you fucking cunt

Romantic plastic
Romantic plastic
April 23, 2023 6:55 am

I was concerned with OMH loving it and the story revolving around grief it might be a bit morbose but actually plenty of narative to chew on. As for the end song I was expecting it to morph into Atomic by Blondie. A nice little film with a happy ending.

Corny Cole
Corny Cole
Reply to  Romantic plastic
April 23, 2023 6:54 pm

Atomic by Blondie? Stfu asshole. That would have sucked ass. I bet Blondie is your favorite group. I can picture you dancing around your bedroom in your mother’s house singing The Tide is High in a stern voice “I’m not the kind of girl who gives up just like that.” They were so cutting edge. You should really just stfu. “A nice little film with a happy ending.” You’re so witty, aren’t you?

Cole
Cole
Reply to  Corny Cole
April 23, 2023 8:47 pm

Lmao I know that’s you OMH. So pathetic lol, but not unexpected.

Old Mother Hubbard
Old Mother Hubbard
Reply to  Cole
April 23, 2023 8:51 pm

I didn’t write that one. Trust me. There are a lot of people on here that think you are a fucking asshole and they are totally right.

fred fat
fred fat
April 22, 2023 8:57 pm

this is the dogs bollocks

fred fat
fred fat
Reply to  fred fat
April 28, 2023 8:40 pm

fuck off

Old Mother Hubbard
Old Mother Hubbard
April 22, 2023 7:57 pm

An effed up masterpiece!! 5 stars all the way. Must see.