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AKA: Ensuring Your Place In Hell Vol. 1
Country: USA; Effed Up American Cinema
Language: English, Spanish
Runtime: 02:32:23
Genres: Anthology, Shockumentary, Necro-related, Violence Against Animals, Food-related, Revenge
About – Spoilers:
Ensuring Your Place In Hell was a DVD put together by someone unknown. It’s basically a collection of independent shorts from the ’90s.
1. Grave Robbing for Morons
A young budding businessman who started out for fun and later realized he could make money out of his passion – collecting bones and skulls from graves – explains how to go about it for best results. He has a speech defect, or maybe he’s just excited to share his expertise and this adds a little drama to his narration. Anyway, towards the end when he feels he’s talking to a beginner audience, he grows more confident and you finally see the necro guru smirk a bit.
2. Cooking With Huck Botko
Six shorts from Huck Botko (who wrote The Last Exorcism). The first four shorts are cooking-related, where Huck plays this character who hates his family in a quiet and simmering, rather than, explosive way. So on festive occasions, he cooks them something nice but adds special ingredients tailormade to each family member. This is a particularly entertaining series if you enjoy the charm of home movies on old camcorders. The 5th short revolves around Huck’s friends who seek vengeance on an office colleague for being a bitch to one of them. And the final one sees him ostensibly following a man dedicated to ending the bald eagle species.
3. Mortuary Of The Dead
Shot in a mortuary by some guy who seems like the friend of someone who works there. Their whispers are barely audible which goes with the vhs-quality visuals of dead babies, decapitated bodies and heads and limbs stored in buckets of formaldehyde.
4. Exploding Varmints
Made by a bunch of hunters who go about exploding a variety of vermin that prowl farmlands. These are men who take pleasure in their call of duty and aren’t above little quips like, Now you see me, now you don’t, while their targets explode into little chunks of flesh.
P.S. The titles were added by EUM to better divide the anthology.
Democratic shitheads should bow down to their new emperor Donald Trump
Boring shit movie it says necro-related but no one is fucking with the dead
Long live emperor Donald Trump. He is going to make America great again
Did you hear the news little assholes? Trump is going to put Biden and Harris in prison. Fuck you. You’re all a bunch of assholes.
la vi moviendo la cola me acerque para decirle hola
It’s clear as fuck True Patriot has lost his fucking mind and is shitting all over the comments under different names. I would rip each of his faggot comments and prove the mindfuck the wittle baby has been through. But it’s too much time than I have and I’d rather watch a movie on here.
Hey True Patriot SUCK ON MY MAGA COCK YOU FUCKING DEMOCRAT LMAO
I hate people
If this chat is a representation of American IQ, I am resigning when Trump takes office. You are all retarded wanker cunts. I don’t need this shit. The Tories can suck Trump’s cock but I’m not dealing with this bullshit.
Oh, and we’re rejoining the EU bitches. America cannot be trusted. Brexit has fucking trashed our economy and we need to get back into the single market and have freedom of movement with the continent.
Hey superstar
What a bunch of ass clowns in this chat.
Talk about the movie or fuck off.
FOX News 2020 Election Results
Joe Biden: 81.28 million / 306 EC
Donald Trump: 74.22 million / 232 EC
***No Malarkey Joe is a douchebag***
Listen you little assholes and listen carefully. The December shutdown will happen just before Christmas to spoil your holiday. Awwwww. You poor little fucking jerk offs. HA HA! Ta ta you fucking douche bags.
Cry harder 🤣
Listen up you assholes! Jesus Christ warned you faggots and now he is pissed off. Every single cunt in the US will now be vaporized.
Thank fucking God! What a shithole country and shit for brains people!
2020 Election Results (CNN)
Joe Biden: 81.28 million / 306 EC
Donald Trump: 74.22 million / 232 EC
*** No Malarkey Joe is a douchebag***
I swear to god I will tell Putin to nuke the US if another asshole bitches about the election.
Associated Press 2024 Election Results
Donald Trump: 74.7 million / 312 EC
Kamala Harris: 70.97 million / 226 EC
***No Malarkey Joe is a douchebag***
Biden was allowed to cheat in 2020 (81 million votes). Harris wasn’t allowed to cheat in 2024 (65 million votes). Trump got about the same amount of votes in 2020 as he did in 2024 (79 million votes). Trump won 3 presidential elections in a row. Biden and Harris tried to destroy the economy and sell the USA out to China, Americans hate scummy lying democrats. Democrats should move to their favorite country Ukraine. If you hate Trump then you are a brainwashed idiot asshole and I hope you fucking die.
I’m sitting here watching the Grave Robbing For Morons part and trying to figure out if this dude is cross eyed or not… or does his left eye just involuntarily drift to the right…
To all of you who have expressed how disgusted you are with me, I am an old man, have since 5 years an incurable form of cancer, but am still alive thanks to the great health care system in France, which is so much more humane and civilized than that in the US. To my friends I have already said that I do not want to live much longer, because I am so deeply disappointed by the way the world is functioning right now. While watching Liverpool – Aston Villa, I was listening to the fantastic album ‘Light Up Gold’ by Parquet Courts, and it occurred to me how much this great music owed to the liberal movement of the 70s (Patti Smith, Television, Pere Ubu, Talking Heads, Feelies,…) , music that not would have existed under the reign of the newly elected Fascist. And it made me think of the music you hear watching the beautiful film ‘Retour à Seoul’ by Davy Chou. I am talking about the amazing song ‘Petal’ sung by Lee Jung-hwa (who is on a par with Aretha Franklin) and composed and played by Shin Jung-hyun. The song is from 1967 and is just as great as the best work of, say, Country Joe and the Fish. Shin Jung-hyun is now hailed as the godfather of Korean rock music, but in the 70s spent many years in prison for his ‘subversive music’. I have already told my children that I would like ‘Petal’ to be… Read more »
And they wonder why we don’t bother making contact.
Good grief – humans are fucked.
I’m sorry for the people who just want to watch these movies and enjoy them as entertainment. For some reason this kind of content always attracts radical republicans and racists. The fact that the comments section on a film website aligns more with posts made on \pol\ is sad.
Only the first story was kind of interesting because I just sat there and thought about what would drive a person to these things? He’s clearly the reject of his peers. I salute him for becoming even more alienated.
Lettuce Liz checking in here. I know I was the best PM in British history & my budget was lights out. I’m going to ring Trump to share all my secrets of success.
God save the King!
What a load of tosh! You call this entertainment?
If you want some real drama, check out my material on X @DailyDorries
This is Speaker of the House, MAGA Mike Johnson.
It’s come to my attention that this website hosts content including Titties & Ass, Cock shots, Kiddie fuckers and Sister sex.
I’m going to recommend blacklisting this site to Elon and Donald.
I keep getting notifications on this fucking buddy system app of mine that my son is beating his meat to the videos hosted here. If I can’t choke my chicken due to ridiculous religious doctrines that I unwaveringly submit to, than neither can my son or the rest of America!
I enjoy watching these movies on my Laptop y’all stole after smoking a shit ton of crack.
Thanks for all you do EUM. Let me know if you wanna get high with me sometime. I’ve got plenty of smack for everyone.
Listen up you little preteen faggots!!! The government shutdown will begin on Thanksgiving Day. You have three weeks. I personally hope most of you here don’t make the Purge. I specifically chose Thanksgiving because you will all be hungover and stuffed full of turkey and hence much easier to attack. Y’all bitches packing BB guns acting like Gravy Seals are gonna get FUCKED UP! Now run along and go cry, spam and jerk off in the corner. Ta Ta assholes!
Thought I would drop into this chat like I did the Presidential election.
I’ll be back!
Everyone in this comment section is a MASSIVE WHINING BITCH…
Just like me.
PS – someone please send my husband Jared some Viagra
It seems my victory has invoked a lot of crybabies. I will be sure to think of you all every time I jerk one off in the White House, especially the donkeycrats.
STFU ABOUT POLITICS YOU TWATS
AMERICAN MAIN CHARACTER SYNDROME IS FUCKING BORING, YOU ARE COMMITING GENOCIDE ON PALESTINIANS WHETHER DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, YOU’RE ALL FUCKING TWATS AND NO ONE LIKES YOU
donald c trump has a place reserved in hell and hes going to take us all there
awaiting approval from cunts
Stop with the political bullshit and let’s get back to normality and start calling each other names and abusing everyone. Politics are boring but calling someone a pedo, faggot, cunt etc is much more satisfying especially when they are deserving of the title. So long, asswipes, lol. Ha ha.
Lol, the retard americans in the comments.
Dear Admin, below I try to fight back against the fascists. May I here make a remark about films from the country that was really good in fascism, films that would be really be appreciated by the fascists that love your stuff.
1. You have here ‘Die Wahrheit der Lüge’ by Roland Reber. I recently saw his ‘Der Geschmack von Leben’ by the same director, which is not only better, but also, in my view, more effed up. Both films feature the fascinating actress Antje Nikola Mönning, who much to my surprise I found on a pornsite nude playing with a dildo…. Clearly, not your common American actress!
2. In the same vein, thee is the excellent and serious actress and director Saralisa Volm. Her films are hard to find for me, but I have seen the amazing and really excellent short ‘Hotel Desire’ by Sergej Moya, which caused quite some discussion in Germany. You and your viewers will be pleasantly surprised.
While it still can…
Admin, thanks for tolerating my long posts. Everyone of us appreciate the content you provide or else we wouldn’t be here. I guess the petty culture war bullshit is a permanent fixture of civilization from here on out.
I’m going to do my best to stop giving a fuck about it – the two opposing sides and myself are just clogging servers with petty arguments and adding nothing of value to the site (unless your the type of masochistic individual who enjoys watching strangers argue). It can be entertaining, but it’s really just shit at the end of the day.
Look forward to all future uploads and the ability to say whatever comes to mind.
I’d like to take this opportunity to let everyone calling me a “woke leftist” know I’m fiercely independent. I do not support Democrats or Republicans. I have never voted for either party. I have never voted at all and probably never will. Both parties, better known as the Duopoly, do not represent working class Americans like myself. Any pretense from either side is simply an illusion that gullible fucking sheep have devoured hook, line and sinker. The government has since its inception, only catered to the concerns of extremely wealthy individuals, which only makes sense as they were the ones creating it. New Flash: In 248 years, absolutely nothing has changed. Both major parties are 100% beholden to corporate interests. Every four years, both Dems and Republicans send out letters in the mail begging for campaign contributions, lie for 6 months on the campaign trail boosting the ratings of corporate media (talk about stealing from the poor and transferring it to both parties’ coffers) and then after the big show, they both tell you exactly the same thing: “Drop your drawers you fucking peasants, the American oligarchs are still in charge and you’re going to get fucked again!” Both parties were happy to outsource the American manufacturing base – the heart and soul of the American middle class – to China and any other country that had cheap labor so that they could pocket the savings. It’s been going on since the 1970s and has kept apace ever since. They… Read more »
Shut the fuck up you woke liberal bitches! Trump is back and he is going to pistol whip you fucking assholes into concentration camps where you’ll slave away to lower food prices until you die.
Cry harder faggots! Your liberal women are now MAGA property – again cry – we will show them a true pussy pounding for ya while you work in the fields until the ovens heat up enough to cremate your bitch-ass remains. We will use your confused fucking crotch goblins for target practice!
Thankfully RFK Jr is going to get rid of vaccines so all you sickle cell niggers and HIV positive fags are a thing of the past!
My advice to all the leftists – commit suicide now and save yourself the trouble. We are coming for you once papa Trump is back. You have until the end of January 2025 to off yourself or we will do it for you.
America will be alright because American will be ALL WHITE.
Congratulations to all the racists and fascists that write on this site, and congratulations to Admin(s) who facilitated all this. You will get the America you seem to want.
You will realize that this may be the end of this site. For in conservative, evangelic new America there is no place of movies with incest, homosexuality, snuff, and gore: the new America is a country is a beautiful country under the reign of God who created the USA, (just like Iran is beautiful under the reign of Allah, who created Iran) and in this beautiful world the filfth shown here does not and cannot exist.
What I hope is that the election of Trump will cause a brain drain, for who in this right mind would want to live in a country which is gonna resemble Germany in the 1930s? America for the ‘Americans’! And back to the Middle Ages, when men were men and women were women. Well done, folks.
They impeached me twice, they tried to assassinate me twice, and now I’ll be running as President twice. Four more years of me, you donkeys!
All the woke liberals like True Patriot are too busy sucking each other’s multicolored cocks ig hahahaha. Trumpo’s coming for you. Let the tears flow.
Trump won you woke fags hahaha hahaha
This was a fun watch. The poor ratings can suck a pixelated dick.
Hey, pedo Steve, the title of this film applies to you and all the other kid fiddlers on this site.
there is a place in hell reserved for me
“And then they go on to write: ‘Germany desires freedom.’ For thirteen years we have known this free- dom, ever since the time when they began to oppress us. You know how many thousands of us were reduced to servitude, how many of our meetings were broken up, how often our Press was confiscated, how many of us came into prison, and how many of us at last were not allowed to continue the fight. For more than three years, through the order of these “Apostles of Freedom’, I myself might not speak a word in public in Germany. We shall know freedom once more in Germany only when we have destroyed the foes of freedom. They go on to say: ‘For us German character! and Christianity are a holy obligation. For that to which one is bound by a holy obligation one must also fight both as a Christian and a German.’ In these fourteen years have they really fought for this German nation, for Christianity? How can a party talk of the fight for Christianity which for fourteen years has sat together with atheists and those who deny the existence of God?”
– Adolf Hitler in a speech in Cologne 1933 on the ‘Catholic’ Centre Party (Zentrum).
I am able to come back, and I will post for new movies. fred maybe I will write some more things for you another time my friend but It has come to my concern that @True Patriot, @bies and @Tommy Karate are very naughty people and they need to be re-trained and re-educated for being very disrespectful!
First.
Stupid cunts