Twentynine Palms (2003)

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Avg Rating: 3 / 5. Voted: 43

No one cared thus far. Do you?

AKA:
Directed by: Bruno Dumont
Starring: David Wissak (David), Katia Golubeva (Katia)
Country: France, USA
Language: English, French, Russian (English subs for foreign parts)
Runtime: 01:54:04

Plot – Spoilers:
A couple are in Twentynine Palms with the vague goal of scouting. David is some kind of photographer or filmmaker and Katia his girlfriend, perhaps a model or actress. The scouting takes a backseat as the couple meander through the desert-town doing nothing, sometimes fucking amongst the hot, sun-baked rocks.

Though they do pretty much nothing of significance until the finale, the couple is very watchable. Katia seems to be terribly depressed and is often triggered by the slightest. David meanwhile appears to be floating through the relationship, but has dark streaks paddling beneath. They have frequent bouts of sex where David comically grunts and squeals like he were the first and last man on earth. Anyway, the reason the couple are very watchable is because most of the time you don’t know what the fuck they’re doing together. They struggle to communicate with each other and often switch between English and French, and Katia even slips into Russian when stressed. But then other times, they seem perfectly fine together, comfortably indulging in meaningful nothings.

If these kinds of movies don’t do it for you, it’s probably worth sticking for the finale that is mostly unpredictable despite the looming sense of foreboding that Katia has throughout.

Genres: Mental Illness, Unsimulated Sex, Pissing, Rape-against Men

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zombiewriter75
zombiewriter75
December 12, 2020 12:49 pm

wow! was not expecting that! shit got dark real quick!

X
X
December 12, 2020 5:43 pm

One of the worst movies of all time, just save your time and watch porn instead lmao

Chris Ramirez
Chris Ramirez
December 12, 2020 11:15 pm

A very slow-paced movie. But the near-ending was very unexpected. Brutal! Merci beaucoup EUM!

yourmomfriend
yourmomfriend
December 13, 2020 1:25 am

Pure non-sense drama… until the last 20min of the film… its a effedup movie

Dr. Lecter
Dr. Lecter
December 13, 2020 6:19 am

okay…..

A couple of observations:

Albeit I did enjoy it, this movie was about three days longer then it needed to be…

See what happens when you slap on your girlfriend?

Everybody sounds like Tarzan when they cum…

You’d think a three-legged dog would know better then to eff with a car…

And finally, all you observant effed-up em-effers, see if you can spot the blooper.

JG
JG
Reply to  Dr. Lecter
December 30, 2020 1:54 am

Got a free cone. Other than that, slow boring. Ending so left field.

Heidi Attwood
Heidi Attwood
December 13, 2020 6:24 am

This couple is so boring that even when we have suffered through the main part of the movie just to watch the final fifteen (which allow it to be included in the FU movies) all we can do is go: TF for that, and wish it had happened a lot sooner. One of those pretentious art nouveau movies that get shown at film festivals and all the ciritics go: how great (and incomprehensible) is that! All the same EUM thanks for posting.

And you will hate the CD that plays in the car…

Antinatalpist
Antinatalpist
Reply to  Heidi Attwood
December 13, 2020 10:11 am

I’d say the unsimulated sex is also a reason it’s included.. not just the final fifteen. Typically these types of films don’t include unsimulated sex..

Cathe
Cathe
December 14, 2020 10:36 pm

This movie was REALLY bad, don’t even waste your time, it’s about a couple just driving around the desert and some sex scenes that weren`t even that good, no good story, no dialogues, it sucked!

Placebo
Placebo
December 20, 2020 6:08 pm

Moral is if you cant take it up the fudge pipe don’t try giving it,
and don’t take it out on your girlfriend if it hurts… -10 out of 10 for effort, rather crap really!

iliketwitedshit
iliketwitedshit
February 14, 2021 8:26 pm

if this as made as a framed painting it be a dull coffee colour canvas with sum human sit smeared across the bottom corner and called “a wasted hour and half”

Questioning Guy
Questioning Guy
April 6, 2021 9:35 pm

People in this movie look really stupid when they cum. Especially that alien-looking rapist dude.

Badmoviejoe
Badmoviejoe
July 25, 2021 10:04 am

At the advice of the comments. I’m glad I skipped to the last 20. Just another day in palm desert

error: bad mouse!