Header (2006)

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Avg Rating: 3.5 / 5. Voted: 58

No one cared thus far. Do you?


AKA:
Directed by: Archibald Flancranstin
Starring: Jake Suffian (ATF Agent), Elliot V. Kotek (Travis), Dick Mullaney (Grandpa), Melody Garren (Kathy)
Country: USA; Effed Up American Cinema
Language: English
Runtime: 01:28:53
Genres: Gore-Gruesome, Rape-Sexual-Violence against Women, Rape-Sexual-Violence against Men, Infidelity

Plot – Spoilers:
I want to fuck your brains out, not because I want you so bad, but because I hate you that bad.

Deep in backwoods country, folk follow a peculiar tradition when someone does them wrong and they run out of ways of upping the revenge. They just grab someone from the family and give them a header. First you make a hole in your victim’s head exposing the brain and then you fuck it. The more experienced and savvy ones use a hole-saw drill to avoid skull slivers.

Header has all the symptoms of a trash b-movie and yet, somehow rises above. It’s probably thanks to a legless old man whose enthusiasm over headers adds hilarity to the macabre moments. There are also attempts to build some of the characters. For example, you have this ATF guy masturbating by a lake in one scene. This serves to add nothing to the plot, but only seems to to emphasize his pain and devotion to his sickly wife at home.

Random Meaningless Trivia
This was meant to be the first movie to be posted here but got put off for a variety of reasons.

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hiv
hiv
February 24, 2024 4:59 pm

their accents were so bad that sometimes i tought they were rapping or something

God Slayer Fist
God Slayer Fist
February 17, 2024 11:42 pm

That acting, my god. What were they on when they were in front of the camera?!

drnick
drnick
January 30, 2024 4:17 pm

‘a really good film not as gory as you think and a couple of good twists acting not bad give it a go

boypussy veteran
boypussy veteran
December 26, 2023 3:48 am

the camera is so shaky im gonna lose my mind good lord

gerp
gerp
December 20, 2023 7:28 am

these be smart comments

Metalgurl
Metalgurl
December 4, 2023 6:19 pm

I was hoping there be more brutal rapey shit, so i can flick my bean. What a fucking let down grrr…

Metalgurl
Metalgurl
December 4, 2023 4:41 pm

This looks like a fun community heh.

fred fat
fred fat
November 5, 2023 9:11 pm

i prefer footer

DOOMSDAY WARNING
DOOMSDAY WARNING
November 4, 2023 7:30 pm

Im the best & ive come to molest, so line em up you cowards.

Ron Jeremy
Ron Jeremy
October 31, 2023 9:24 am

Out of all 3 gay boys on “Friends” it was actually David Schwimmer, not Matthew Perry, that all the faggots said gave the best head. The faggots say that Schwimmer looks right at you with those puppy dog eyes while he’s giving you a nice sloppy blow job. It sounds like a dream come true for a fucking faggot like me.

Ramit
Ramit
October 29, 2023 4:48 pm

I found the “meaningless” trivia interesting, especially considering the first movie was posted over six years ago now.

Friends un-united
Friends un-united
October 29, 2023 5:39 am

In tribute to Mathew Perry I will be drowing a few sorrows by watching Almost Heroes, 1998. May he rain down steaming piss on all the fuckers who walked away from him when he needed them the most.

Some guy
Some guy
October 28, 2023 6:19 pm

brain fuck is, arguably, the best and hottest form of guro. i’m glad there’s a whole movie about it, even if it’s pretty bad.

jcd
jcd
October 28, 2023 2:50 pm

+1 for creativity (header, eh…). another +1 for having a storyline unlike the similar garbage. the movie still sucks and stupid. and, -2 for really bad fake southern accent.

Berkowitz
Berkowitz
October 28, 2023 9:23 am

Lmfao, Hilarious, sick redneck shit. Granddad is a riot.

I'm not a robot
I'm not a robot
October 28, 2023 8:41 am

Came here for frowny face likes.

Cocke on the water
Cocke on the water
October 28, 2023 8:03 am

I would have edited out the wife storyline and had a few more lovely ladies for grandad to wet his whistle with. I felt slightly inadequate when I saw the size of drill bit.

sexgroyperhitler
sexgroyperhitler
October 27, 2023 9:18 pm

can you guys not ruin every comment section by acting like children

Trigger points
Trigger points
October 27, 2023 3:02 pm

I give header’s, 5 bucks if you’re above 13, Free otherwise!!!!!

fred fat
fred fat
October 27, 2023 2:46 pm

footer

Ron Jeremy
Ron Jeremy
October 27, 2023 9:40 am

Good movie but I would rather bust a nut on a faggot’s face. Suck my dick because I love gay sex. ATM, Hershey highway riding, facials, etc. It’s all on the menu if you are a gay faggot like me.

LOTTY DA
LOTTY DA
October 27, 2023 9:39 am

not a bad movie, much better than I expected . .. the grandpa was a hoot. thanks again EU for filling my evening with this crazy shit. now I know what skull fucking is, have to try it sometime… no close caps was a bummer tho, still made it thru the movie without hearing a word, would have loved to know what the old coot was going on about.

Tamir
Tamir
October 27, 2023 6:46 am

I watch later thank you.

captain monkey
captain monkey
October 26, 2023 10:13 pm

pure comedy gold