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AKA: Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker
Directed by: Martin Kitrosser
Starring: William Thorne (Derek), Jane Higginson (Sarah), Mickey Rooney (Joe Petto), Brian Bremer (Pino), PettoTracy Fraim (Noah), Neith Hunter (Kim)
Country: USA; Effed Up American Movies
Language: English (Optional Eng Subs)
Runtime: 01:27:08
Genres: Killers, Gruesome, Dolls-Toys
Plot – Spoilers:
An evil genius boobytraps toys to fatally hurt. A strange man lurks around a mother and her stupid-looking son. A Pinocchio-type boy lives in a basement and dreams of being both son and lover to the mother above. This leads to a glorious scene where Pinocchio who lacks a dick tries to fuck the lady while gasping, “I can love you like a real son. I can! I can! I love you, mommy! I love you!” That alone probably makes this worth a watch, apart from creepy toys devouring heads or participating in a couple having sex while tickling the guy’s sexuality.
This is more of a return to form with more comedy and a more Christmas type story. The story is also the most insane out of the lot. I like this one second best out of the series. The production is really good and Mickey Rooney is just great. 3 and a half stars.
My ranking of all 5 films in the series goes from best to worst:
1. “Silent Night Deadly Night 1”
2. “Silent Night Deadly Night 5”
3. “Silent Night Deadly Night 4”
4. “Silent Night Deadly Night 2”
5. “Silent Night Deadly Night 3”
Like SNDN 4, this is a stand alone film, and like the last film forgoes showing the boobs of the mum from SND 1, 2 & 3. Actually, this is the first SNDN film that doesn’t show jumper potatoes. The toys are interesting and the ‘mummy’ scene as described in the EUM plot summary is somewhat funny. This film is not as good as SNDN 4 which (imo) was the best film in this franchise. This film, 2.5/5 Larry the Larvae.
Hi Mr. Pedo!😂😂
This one was fun. Didn’t read the description beforehand and when the wordplay of Joe Petto clicked it was one of these glorious “so dumb it’s great”-moments. Honestly my favourite out of the series, gave me a good chuckle or two.
I had something like that happen to me once
Kinda annoying srly, can you fuckn not log up the comments with ur bullshit ‘catch up trolling fuck-fest cup of tea chatty’ nonsense? It’s not a bingo hall.
Haha, the last three of these, I thought it was the last one
@Zed.
You are the light in my darkness upon here, I can’t express how grateful I am for your tolerance of me.
You said the most heartbreakingly, genuinely nicest things to me. I was honestly reduced to tears. You’re the only beautiful soul upon here who gave me the time of day and never judged my commentary nor discredited my appearance (avatar), you’re a rare diamond among the macadam. I apologise for being inutile, haplessly hypersensitive, and a troll-provocateur, I loved interacting with you… I seldom if not remotely experience such. I ventured back to this site, without expectations nor did I believe that once again, my composure would begin to crack, how deluded I was.
It’s unfortunate that I’m unable to converse with you more… I underwent an FTSG (Full-thickness skin graft) a fortnight ago, leaving my clavicle with an horrendous cicatrice. An incident prior, resulted in extensive surgical procedures I was required to undergo. I had been physically assaulted.
I’m so sorry, for everything and your association here with me, that salaciously had people causing you dismay and unrest. You truly were my only friend, in fact, my only friend in reality too… How sad and pathetic is that? They’re all correct, the nastiness, the shallowness, and the cruelty, words have and will always affect my emotions. I am pathetic. It’s time for me to now, retain my life back.
I love you to the moon and back Zed;
Matisse Djana Famke <3
@Admin: I will keep this brief.
I must apologise for my retaliatory behaviour of late, indeed I have recently acquired a lot of time on my hands. Personal circumstances (that I will refrain from elaborating on vapidly), arrogated my mental health decline.
Anyhow, once again, my sincerest apologies and gratitude for the remarkable site your team create and moderate exceptionally.
I’m returning to work tomorrow, yes I know right, fancy that, myself of all people having an actual life…
I do appreciate and respect your team, insurmountably.
Much regard;
Matti xx
im the first persian to committ suicide to this